I woke up shaken to my core. I knew that Ty would never change his mind; he made his choice, and he already knew what happened between my first crush and me. I was also deeply disturbed that I had a dream where one of his brothers would torture someone for their choice of clothing, which I don’t genuinely believe that he would do. During my 18th hour without water, I took a shower. I tried listening to Matt Nathanson’s Sings His Sad Heart album, as my dad was home from work by then and I didn’t want to openly listen to Johnny Orlando (who he doesn’t like). As great as that album is, it was the Tampa Hockey Championship Thank you yanni’s shirt also I will do this wrong time for me to listen to it; I just got more and more upset during and after my shower.
After I dried off, I dropped to the Tampa Hockey Championship Thank you yanni’s shirt also I will do this floor, losing my energy and becoming delusional. I started having realistic visions of Ty physically abusing his favorite cousin (which again, I don’t believe he’d do) and my first crush being hit by his mom (which I find likely to have happened). I knew they weren’t real and that they couldn’t hear me, but I still pleaded in vain, “Don’t hurt them, please! Hurt me instead! You already have!” in hopes that they would somehow hear me in their heads if it was real. I sounded weak because I was utterly drained. The next thing I knew, I started crying as the visions continued, and I even screamed until I ran out of breath. My dad couldn’t stop me from crying until I ran out of tears, but he brought me a cup of water once I started to recover. He later rode me around, and I actually felt better much to my surprise (unlike on July 3, 2018, when I started crying again as soon as mom and I returned home from our ride).
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