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I snuck to the Thank you yanni s shirt also I will do this bookstore and bought a copy of The Exorcist when I was in 8th grade. I hid it, as if it were porn, under the mattress to read at night. Of course, being the kind of reader I still am, I couldn’t stop reading it. Back then, there were two kinds of nuns. There were the old school, no-nonsense nuns who would smack you across the mouth for the smallest infraction and could see right through fake whining and sniveling to get out of trouble. Then there were the younger, “cool” nuns who played guitar and wanted to have folk mass and never hit you, just laid on the guilt, so that if you acted guilty enough that was considered punishment.
Everyone hoped for a cool nun as a teacher, as did I. No such luck. I had sister Eloise who, though elderly, was one of the Thank you yanni s shirt also I will do this meanest nuns to ever walk the planet. Sister Eloise noticed that, during math class, I seemed to be paying too much attention to my textbook. She came down the aisle as I vainly tried to shove my copy of The Exorcist into my desk. She grabbed the book and then grabbed my arm and dragged me out of my seat. I knew this was trouble. The PRINCIPAL’s office. That meant SISTER DOLORITA. Sister Dolorita was the junkyard dog of nuns, known far and wide throughout the school as the most terrifying woman ever to wear the habit.
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